One very emotionally charged element of a divorce or legal separation is working out a child custody arrangement. A divorce can be devastating for a child, and it is essential to put into place a parenting plan that is in the child's best interests.

A national news column recently shared several tips that Kent and Seattle area parents will find useful if they are going through custody actions.

The author starts out by explaining a few basic facts. Married parents of minor children share joint parenting rights. This means that not one parent has more of a right to the children than the other, according to the article.

The popular presumption then that the mother will automatically be given custody after a divorce is incorrect.

In Washington, however, shared residential schedules in which children alternate living at their mother's and father's homes regularly is not favored by judges. This means that sending the child back and forth between parents each week is not a preferred arrangement. More often, a plan is put into place that designates a primary residential parent and a non-primary residential parent.

However, custody laws are generally gender neutral, and fathers are actually awarded custody about half of the time. The parent who is more involved in the day-to-day activities of the children is the one who has an advantage going into a custody case. This parent is known as the primary caregiver.

One way for a judge to determine who the primary caregiver is is to learn how involved a parent is in a child's schedule. Does the parent know the names of the child's doctors and teachers? Does the parent attend and arrange play dates for the child? If not, someone else may be the main caregiver.

In addition, the judge will consider parental behavior. A parent who belittles the other, or who interferes in the child's relationship with the other parent may be reprimanded. If one parent cannot control his or her temper or fails to consider the child's needs above all, a judge will take note of that as well.

A history of domestic abuse, use of drugs or alcohol, or documented evidence of impulsive or inappropriate communication will also count as red flags in a custody case.

In Washington, in addition to determining the living arrangement of children, a parenting plan also has to be put into place. This plan includes decision-making authority, visitation rights and more.

One of the most important steps you can take when arranging a parenting plan or custody agreement is to consult with an experienced family law attorney. This is important to ensure you are able to design an agreement that is best for your children, and that you make your case in front of the judge in a professional manor.

Source: Huffington Post, "How To Lose Child Custody," Jacqueline Harounian, Esq., Dec. 12, 2011